A simple point to keep in mind in regards to selling online is that people skim ore than read on the Web. Studies have shown that less content on a landing page leads to higher conversion rates. Ruthlessly edit your text down to simple headlines and short, bulleted lists. Cut out the self-promoting marketing speak that people won’t read anyway. You can link to detailed information on supporting pages.
Attendant to that is the concept of using lightweight images to more effectively highlight those bullet points.
Of course one could go too far, and not have enough relevant text to be of value to consumers or search engines. Find the right balance and test.